I’ve always been an early-to-work teacher. Since my husband goes to work at 3:30 in the morning, I’m often awake early and so I head in to get things done. It’s nice to be at work while he is, so that I can be home when he is at home. But mostly, I like being at school early because no one else is. Or nearly no one else is. Each morning when I head to school early, the sun not even up yet, my head full of stressful reminders and to-do lists, I see Liz’s car.
With rare exception, very rare – Liz is the first one at school every day. I’ve been working at this school district for just under fifteen years and this has always been true. The thing that gets me is that Liz has been teaching in this district for thirty years. And, she teaches Kindergarten.
Even as I write that, I don’t want it to come off as dismissive. I don’t mean in any way shape or form that Liz only teaches Kindergarten. Believe me, my hat is off to those teachers! I have taught everything from first to fourth and I have never been so relieved as I was to find out I don’t have the proper endorsement in Michigan to ever be considered for a Kindergarten position. I couldn’t do it. I barely survived teaching first. I simply include that because Liz has always taught Kindergarten and I used to have it in my head that someday – someday soon, I always thought – I would have teaching “down pat” and I could show up just before the kids arrived, maybe make a few copies during my planning period, eat lunch with my colleagues and leave shortly after the busses pulled out at the end of the day. This has never been the case for me, and I am reminded daily that it has never been the case for amazing teachers like Liz, either.
This year, I feel particularly frustrated by the amount of time I feel I need to put in to make each day what I want it to be. And even with Herculean effort, I don’t feel like my teaching is anything spectacular or worthy of such time. Initially, I blamed it on the fact that I haven’t taught ELA in over a year. Then, I added in the whole COVID excuse (last year was a bit out of the ordinary!) But now, a month into school, I’m still wondering how and why it is that I am still working harder and definitely not smarter.
But this morning, there again, was Liz’s car. Always parked in the same spot. A reminder as I pulled into the lot that we never do get teaching “down pat”. And we shouldn’t aspire to. Education is forever in progress. We are forever in the muck and mire of one change or another. Teachers are forever learning (or should be) and that means we are constantly changing.
This morning, when I saw her car, I took a moment to just breathe. The to-do list in my mind was lengthy and intimidating, but for just a moment, instead of feeling like I had to be at school at this early hour just to get through the week, I felt for just a moment what I am certain Liz feels – that she wants to be at school this early every day to make her classroom the best it can be. And that, afterall, is the kind of teacher I have always wanted to be.
Working in the building next door, I may not get to see Liz every day like I used to. I may not get to hear as often from family and friends what an amazing teacher she continues to be. But I get a reminder each and every day of exactly the kind of teacher I always want to be. The kind that is more than just willing, but is excited about putting in the extra effort year after year to make sure I am doing everything I can for every student around me. A teacher, just like Liz.
Teaching at 3am 