Every year at Open House, I send home a note with parents asking for email addresses, allergies, contact information, etc. I also ask parents to tell me a little bit about their child – just anything they think I need to know to be the best teacher I can be. Many times parents write a few sentences about anxiety or particular subject areas of concern. Sometimes they fill me in on current home-life situations that might impact a child’s focus and learning. Even when that part of the form is left blank, I still learn a thing or two about that particular child.
In addition, during the first week of school, usually on the first day after sharing information about myself, I ask the students to tell me some things about themselves that they think it’s important for me to know. I emphasize that this information is just for me, that I won’t share it with parents or the class and that I won’t hang it in the hallway. Again, sometimes kids tell me their allergies or what subjects they hate. Sometimes they tell me what they are nervous or excited about for the year. Sometimes it’s a list of ten things they absolutely love from dogs to birthdays. Sometimes they might share something emotional that happened recently: they got a new dog, or that grandma died this summer. And again, even when the form is left blank or even if just a few things are filled in, I still learn a lot about that particular student.
I engaged in this exercise on the second day of school this year, complete with my usual speech about privacy and purpose. I gave the students space while they completed it and provided a secondary activity for those that finished early just to make sure everyone had the time they needed.
After school was dismissed for the day, I grabbed all the papers from the basket and began to sort through them. It didn’t take but just a minute before my eyes fell on one in particular and I stopped in my tracks to read it in its entirety.
There is nothing I need to say beyond just posting it. Every educator, every parent, anyone involved with children already knows how this feels on a heart. This student knew me less than 24 hours when he shared all of this with me, emphasizing to me how desperate he is to connect, to feel better, to fill a void in his life with love. I was immediately reminded of a message I had just heard the previous week from Dr. Sharroky Hollie, who reminded us that we can offer “outrageous love” to our students in need and even then, they will still want and need more.
We all have stories. We all have background. We don’t often wear it on our sleeves. I knew this student had a thick file and had several notes next to his name on my roster specifying behavior concerns. To be honest, I hadn’t read them. Even at Open House, when his dad’s girlfriend, a mom I already knew, said, “We’ll talk later,” I quickly cut her off and reassured her son, this beautiful boy, that we were going to have a great year together. This was before I knew the details. And now, knowing the gist of the details, all ten details that he chose to share with me, I know that it all really only comes down to one thing. There is just one thing that this boy needs me to know about him. Dr. Hollie was exactly right, this boy needs outrageous love. Every day. From as many people as possible.
I will do everything I can this year to teach this boy reading and spelling patterns and academic writing. I will teach him the standards and do everything I can to help him master them. But more than that, each and every day, I will remind myself that it all comes down to love. His ten things all come down to one. The one thing he needs me to know is that he needs outrageous love.
Teaching at 3am 